Hey Canna Fam!! I have zero excuses for disappearing on you guys. I put my mental health first lately, and there is no apology coming from me for that. It was necessary, but today I feel ready and wanted to get back to it. I feel that I need to express the importance of your mental health, and dealing with your trauma. It is nobody in this world’s job but yours to get yourself right. There is no one out there, except for maybe a therapist, that is supposed to fix your internal demons or battles you struggle with. Even in therapy, YOU still have to put in the work to work on being the best version of yourself and healing all your damaged parts. Life is not meant to be easy on us. We all have different struggles, and we all have different levels of hardships we deal with. Nobody can look at another person and decide that their life was easy based on their outside appearance. WE ALL GO THROUGH SHIT. Regardless of the cards we are dealt, it is each of our responsibilities to love ourselves through it. If you look at yourself in the mirror and constantly tell yourself you are not good enough, please stop that shit right now!!! It is time to change the way we deal with struggle. We as humans put so much damn pressure on ourselves to be held to this ridiculous standard. Instead, we should realize that hey we are going to fuck up. We are going to consistently “fail”, but that means we are consistently trying and putting ourselves out there, and that deserves a pat on the back. To continue to keep living through the challenges of sadness, fear, and mistake after mistake, that alone is a success. Deciding to keep going no matter what you have been through and holding yourself accountable to the person you want to be, that is all we can really ask of ourselves. I am prepared for each one of you to reach out after reading this blog, and I am open to talking about mental health and getting through trauma together. Let’s dive in to really recognizing when we aren’t even okay.
Have you guys ever found yourselves starting to self-sabotage? You are just feeling shitty about the place you are currently in, so you start to self-doubt everything. You find ways to deflect when dealing with others because otherwise you have to admit how not okay you really are. Why do we get harder on ourselves when we are not okay? Instead, we should be honest with ourselves and anyone close to us, that we need a break mentally, or that we are just at our tipping point. IT IS OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY. There are so many societal pressures all the time on us, that we don’t even realize how much damage it does to self-deprecate as well. If you are already not feeling good enough to the world, do you think it helps your brain to continue to tell yourself how much you are fucking up? It never serves us to belittle others, but it especially does not serve us to belittle ourselves. At the end of the day, if you cannot count on yourself to love you, then why would anyone else want to? Stop creating reasons in your head to tell yourself you are not good enough. The next time you feel yourself start to self-hate, start telling yourself to accept whatever life has sent your way, and find one positive in whatever it is you are dealing with. We are all on our own paths trying to figure out the cards that life has dealt each one of us.
If you find yourself constantly reminding yourself of your fucked up past as a reason to not move forward, I highly advise against it. Our childhoods are a dangerous thing. We all start out insanely vulnerable, and for some of us, our parents tend to fuck us up at some point along the way to becoming an adult. I just wish with this, came the knowledge that it just takes work to get back on the right path. It is much easier to continue to be a victim your whole life, than it is to recognize your setbacks and choose to dive into these. We have all been there. It takes a real strong person, to face the person you have become somewhere along your journey; and it takes an even stronger individual to look that person in the mirror, and say “I need to change”. If you have experienced this, like I have, it is a very powerful position to be in in your life. Facing your mental health, and facing yourself, is one of the best things you can do. Let go of whatever qualities you no longer resonate with. Let go of any regret, any shame, any remorse and use that energy to motivate you to never go down that same path. The coolest part about being alive is we do have the choice to be who we want to be in this world. There is nothing wrong with taking time to wake up and reset that button for yourself. Remind yourself of where you came from and how that differentiates from where you want to go; because ultimately life is not meant to be looking behind us.
For some of us, we have already begun this journey, and for others, you may be just beginning. Regardless, I am insanely proud of you for getting this far. Deciding to put yourself first in life can sometimes be a confusing experience. For those who are not used to it, it feels selfish at first, and trust me, this feeling will not last! Eventually you realize that that“selfishness” (self-love), is just a building block to doing the work to survive life. Then you’ll start to reframe your mind again to how you can do even better. The work never really stops at the end of the day. However, putting in the work from a healed place is much easier than putting in the work from a mentality of being a victim. Interacting with other humans is easier when you have accepted that you are not the only one that has or had a hard life, but you instead realize that it was your hard life that has allowed you in the end to rise up so much higher. When we can allow our struggles and pain to inspire us to work toward a life where we won’t have to endure those same things again, that is rewarding. When you can separate where you have come from, no matter how tough your upbringing was, and still be excited for your future and where you are going, that is a reward. I hope that for every one of you reading, and if you have not yet started this path of healing, I hope that you feel inspired to now. Life is too short to look back and wish you would have done things differently, so I challenge you to take back the control of your life, and let yourself start to heal. We all know the last few years have been tough, so please feel my love and light reading this. Hugs my friends!!
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