Happy Sunday Canna Fam. Hope you have had an amazing week and a great start to May. To all of you mothers out there, I wish you a Happy Mother’s Day in advance as we will not have a blog up next weekend. Now have you guys ever wondered if you could actually have everything you ever wanted? Or have you continued to tell yourself that things are always just a little out of reach? I believe we are all guilty of settling at least once in our lives, but how many of us have gotten used to settling almost daily? Now this can be in regard to a lot of things in life: your relationship with yourself, your job, your relationship with others, your family, etc. You may have even gotten to a point where settling actually feels safe and comfortable for you. This is when I highly recommend that you check in with yourself and what actually makes you happy at the end of the day. Do you enjoy going to work each day? Or do you dread clocking in and seeing the same coworkers every day and being faced with the same mundane tasks? Do you enjoy waking up next to the person you wake up to on the daily? Or do you just prefer not to wake up by yourself? Settling may not seem like a huge deal when you are doing it, but when you look back on 5 years of your life that you are not sure you even fully enjoyed, it is time to get closer with yourself and learn what your wants and needs actually are.
I believe that in order for us to really reach our full potential and go for the things we want, you really have to know yourself in and out. Now this can be a scary thing to those of you that avoid self-awareness and instead seem to remain on autopilot on the day to day. I am extremely guilty of living this way myself in the past, and better yet sometimes not even realizing it. I think we all get so caught up in the day to day and what we have to get accomplished, that we don’t even ask ourselves if we are happy along the way and just keep going through the motions. I think in order to avoid settling, you really have to understand what your values are in life. Determining what you value is not up for other people to decide, but it really comes down to what is important to you. Ultimately, your values should align with the life you choose to live, and if they don’t, it may be time to make some changes so that they do. If your number one value in life is integrity, but you choose to stick it out with someone who does not embody any, you may find yourself constantly disappointed or confused trying to see eye to eye with this person when it comes to life’s challenges. This can be the same thing with a job, if you do not believe in this company’s mission statement and the way they get things done, you may not be the best fit to represent this company at the end of the day. Settling can not only hold yourself back, but it can inhibit whatever you choose to settle for.
How many times have you found yourself staying in a relationship or friendship too long just to avoid hurting the other person? How many times has this paid off for you, or do you just end up hurting yourself and the other person more by staying? Settling can be detrimental to not only us, but also to the career, person, or family member you choose to settle with. If ultimately you know that there is something out there that could bring you more happiness, you are also now hindering whatever you are settling for, and their opportunities as well. I don’t think we as humans intentionally settle and hold ourselves back and others, but maybe it is just that we cannot fathom that we can actually get everything we ever wanted. Settling is the biggest cop out to ultimate happiness. If we actually believed that we deserved the things we want and need, would they show up on our doorstep? If we stopped getting in the way of our own goals with the excuses we tell ourselves as to why we can’t get there, would we have it all? I know I have asked a lot of questions in this specific blog, but I want you to be thinking hard after this read about why you ultimately don’t have the things you want and need. Also, as much as we never want to admit it, is there a chance that someone could be settling for you? Are you currently holding anyone back by not being ready to fully embrace what you are signing up for? Settling works both ways, and as much as you should not want to settle in life, you should not ever want to contribute to someone else having to settle either. We can all raise the bar a little more when it comes to how we treat ourselves and others and what we will accept from ourselves and others.
While settling is not something I do in my career often, settling is something I had thought I would have to continue to entertain if I wanted love. I always made excuses for why I could not find someone who shares the level of emotional intelligence I do, while also telling myself there is no way they could know how to maintain a balance of drive, ambition, and fun. I told myself that the man who works hard wouldn’t make time for me, that they would be intimidated by me, and that ultimately there is no way they could be good looking and still hit all the other areas I wanted in a man. I am here to tell you that if you continue to tell yourself all of the reasons why what you want won’t happen, it probably won’t! A lot of the time, we speak into existence what happens to us. There are many times I told myself I was going to get exactly what came my direction, and each one of those times required a huge amount of SETTLING. It wasn’t until I finally decided my worth was more important than anything settling could bring, that all of the sudden I was thrown someone in my path I didn’t have to settle for. That my friends is how life works. When we finally stop getting in our own way and stop telling ourselves this is the best we can do, the door opens to what you actually deserve. I want to end this by telling you all to go be great. If you think you can do better in a certain area of your life, you probably can. Life is short and time is limited, so get off of auto pilot and go be present in a way that you will never settle again!!
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