I did not post last week, as it was Mother’s Day and moving time for me. Happy Belated Mother’s Day to all of the beautiful mothers out there. And this week there were some technical difficulties with the site, so sorry for the delay! This week I have picked a topic that I am insanely passionate about; and I would like my readers to try and practice what I am about to preach, as I promise to do so as well. I have found myself discussing this idea of “living in the present” in multiple conversations lately. The question I believe we often find ourselves asking, at least at some point in our lives, is “What is living?”. And if we are not slowing down long enough to really enjoy the journey, are we taking life for granted? At what cost will you give up certain monumental moments, just because you refuse to slow down? I ask myself these questions often, and right now I am challenging you to ask yourself the same.
As a sales rep in the cannabis industry, I have this rare advantage to get to see the world throughout my travels. You would think having this opportunity, I may actually sight see and pull over to grab a picture of a beautiful California sunset, or the most insanely dark sky I have ever seen while driving through New Mexico. Instead, I am always in a rush to get to the next destination, and I find myself not even slowing down long enough to enjoy the journey to it. I also have the pleasure of visiting some of the most amazing grows in the world throughout my travels. While on some tours, I can say I was fully present, there were times where my head was somewhere else or focused on another customer. By putting a lot of stress and pressure on myself to be thinking ahead and completely accessible to whoever needs me, it is allowing me to miss what is literally right in front of me; all because I refuse to be present in each moment. Now I realize that I am only human, but at what point do we make the effort to change this behavior? And how do we change this about ourselves? How do I maintain this ambitious, driven, goal-oriented mindset, but also allow myself to enjoy the ride to these dreams of mine? I asked earlier “What is living”, and I believe trying to define that for myself should allow me to better understand the extent of the changes I could make for myself.
When I think of “living”, I think about fulfilling passions, ultimate happiness with one’s self, being present in each moment, and not taking time for granted. While I am sure this is different for most individuals, the goal is the same in that none of us want to go through life without ever really living. I find myself constantly searching for my purpose in life, and almost for this epic moment to happen where I finally feel like I have MADE IT. And yes, I am laughing at myself as I type this out, because in reality that sounds kind of ridiculous. Is it as easy as just finding that moment within each day, instead of looking for one single moment of solitude? I mean if I could just slow down and open my eyes wider, I would realize there are a lot of moments that have passed me by because I refuse to just be present. Living through this current worldwide pandemic, it has challenged us to have to be present, and it has certainly challenged us to have to slow down. In my opinion, both challenges I can not only grow from, but I can start applying immediately to my life so that I can stop taking each day for granted.
While on this journey, I have met some truly incredible growers. Now there are growers that relate more to plants than they ever will people, and this bond is beautiful. There is also the grower that is so in tune with their plants, they know exactly what they need at any given moment. Subsequently, I have had the rare opportunity to see these growers begin to get more caught up in the next harvest, and so and so’s new genetics, and the latest greatest technology, that even they start to lose sight of what they are doing and why they are really doing it. As I said, we are ALL human; but if we continue to rush through the things we enjoy, what are we really getting out of our passions? I know this is an extremely heavy subject, and it is not something I have the ability to change overnight for myself, but it is something I am focused on changing. Sometimes putting it out there and having a conversation about it is half the battle.
I find a lot of my weaknesses in remaining in the present come from my fear of letting others down. I will answer my phone at 9PM on a Saturday night for a grower, even at the expense of whoever I am with at the time being upset with me. While this creates loyalty with that customer, and it really does make me feel good, it also shows my lack of ability to create boundaries and balance for myself. Balance is probably one of the hardest things for us workaholics to find in our lives, but it is something I finally realize the importance of. I am not sure if it really took the pandemic to get me to open my eyes, but it definitely put a lot of perspective on life and where I need to work on myself. Not one person expects more out of me than I do of myself, and realizing you are your own worst enemy, well it allows yourself to also be your own biggest fan.
I will leave you guys this week with a promise, one that I am excited to strive for. I promise to do better in remaining present. When I am driving across the country for my next adventure, I will make sure to stop and take plenty of pictures to throw in future blogs for proof. I plan to really slow down and remind myself of my purpose, and to be okay with myself on days I don’t know what that purpose is. As the great Bob Marley said, “The day you stop racing, is the day you win the race”. And on that note, cheers to all of us learning each day to enjoy life to the fullest and to be present throughout the journey.
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